Damn. Psychiatrist holding me overtime. Won’t be able to be there for the big reveal until later this week. So…Catwoman? Apparently she looks very similar to me. What’s that all about? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out soon enough, I suppose…
GothamStreets. 2ish. Upset by the Evening....
Stealth. Blackest night. Closing my eyes, I open my arms, stretching them out to the stars, breathing in, out, one, two, one, two. Teetering on the edge of the building, I slightly push myself forward. Wind rushes by my ears, whistling through my hair, waking me up, cleansing my soul. Gently, I unfurl one wing, throwing me a bit off balance, then the next, causing my decent to slow. Seconds before...
WayneManor. 1ish. Visitors.
Climbing out one of the windows in Wayne Manor isn’t as hard as one might think. Needless to say, I make it to the ground and I’m sneaking around to the front, gun ready to shoot. “Hold right there.” I say, stopping the two figures from coming any closer to the manor. “Lenore?” One of them asks, raising his hands over his head. I squint. “Gordon?”...
WayneManor. 1ish. JackandMe.
Jack slides his arm around my waist toward the end of the evening when Bruce heads off with Renee. “Anywhere to get away in here?” He whispers gently in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. I raise an eyebrow. This is Bruce’s mansion we’re talking about. Of course there’s a place to get away here. I smirk and slide my fingers down his arm to his fingertips, pulling...
WayneManor. 12ish. The Whole Crew.
The hum of my black Ferrari limo seems to be lulling me to sleep. My head’s propped up against the window and my legs are curled underneath me on the seat. We’re picking Jack up at some hotel room he rented for the evening in case the paparazzi happen to be out. Why any of them would still be out past midnight beats me, but that’s when anything exciting happens in Gotham. Edgar...
change of plans. 12:06am. some dumbass bar.
We’ve stopped at the bar for a little while [not the Gore. Just some random ass bar that happens to serve some good liquor.] Glancing at my phone, I frown. Red’s texted me that the Warehouse is locked up. Damn. Where the hell am I supposed to stay? Then I smirk a little and send a text to Brucey…Hope Red’s staying at her apartment because I have nowhere else right now since...
So glad you are back. Jokes says he wants to meet you sometime soon. We should spend time together, if you would like. Yours, the Raven.
My definition of "anything."
redwayne: Guess this means I’m going to Wayne Manor later this evening… *Laughs heartily* I saw this. Meaning, I saw Brucey and I am so glad this was your doing.
Edgar&Annabelle. Chat. The private jet from...
Edgar: Lenore, the seats are dirty.
Annabelle: [Holding something minuscule in her hand, she scoffs] There was a singular piece of cat hair. Singular.
Me: Aw, Eddy, I'm sorry. I had a professional team clean up...perhaps they weren't quite as professional as I thought.
Edgar: [adjusting his position in the seat] It's okay. I'll be okay.
Annabelle: You know, I never did understand why you got him as a bodygaurd. He's afraid of everything.
Me: Belle, we've talked about this. Sometimes it's when you face your fears that you're the most frightening. And he's very good at what he does. [Staring pointedly at her] I could say the same thing about you, darling.
Edgar: [not paying attention. Rather, attempting to straighten the liquid in his wine glass, even though we're in a plane. It keeps tipping, so he'll move it back and forth, but the ripples in the alcohol keep getting worse. he doesn't drink. it's Annabelle's.]
Annabelle: [ignoring my comment as to her weakness] It's true, I suppose. You're quite messed up. And you're often afraid. But you're the best. [She reaches for her cup, but when she can't find it she turns toward Edgar, assuming he has it.] Give me that, silly.
Me: [Annabelle doesn't give complements easily] Thanks, Belle. Hey...I got you a present.
Annabelle: [drily] A new gun? You always get me a new gun.
Me: Not this time...
Edgar: What is it? I love guessing games. I hate surprises.
Me: Good thing it's not for you, Eddieboy. But I got you something too. I'll give you a hint. It cleans things.
Edgar: [he hardly hesitates] A vacuum cleaner. The one I've been looking at for months. [this tiny grin begins to fill his whole face.]
Me: Right you are, sir! [I swear that man can read my mind.]
Edgar: [Getting down on his knees, he grabs my hands. Human contact. Something he doesn't do often.] Really, Lenny? Really? [He's so adorable.]
Edgar: [He gets back up onto the seat and stares out the window.] I'm so excited about my vacuum cleaner.
Annabelle: [to me.] He'll be in his room for hours.
Me: It makes him happy. Doesn't it, Eddy?
Edgar: Very much so, dear. Thank you.
Annabelle: So what'd you get me?
Me: Patience, dear.
Edgar: [smirking] You got her patience? She needs that.
Annabelle: [punches his shoulder playfully]
Edgar: Ow. [Even though it didn't hurt.]
Annabelle: [Ignoring him] Is it...new eyeballs?
Me: [laughs] I don't think there's that kind of technology yet, love. But maybe talk to Red. She's gotten better at inventing things.
Annabelle: She couldn't make me see again.
Me: Why so negative?
Annabelle: I've been to millions of doctors. Red's not a doctor. She's a mad scientist.
Edgar: Often the mad ones are the best.
Annabelle: Yeah. You would know. [Punches him lightly on the shoulder.]
Annabelle: That didn't hurt.
Edgar: I know. I just say ow. It's a reaction.
Annabelle: [shaking her head] Glad we're going back home. Maybe the crazy will go away.
Me: [chuckles] We live in a madhouse. Good luck.
Call. Lenore&Red&Joker. The Warehouse. 14:27.
[The Joker and I are making plans to pay a visit to the mob, when I get a phone call. It's Red.]
Me: [putting her on speaker] Yeah?
Joker: Who is it?
Red: Your worst nightmare... Who do you think it is?
Joker: Sounds like my worst nightmare.
Me: What's up?
Red: Annabelle and Edgar are coming in town...when?
Me: Tomorrow. Is that the only reason you called? [all she's talked about for the past few days are making sure that Annabelle and Edgar are coming. I've been on house arrest since the day in the Courtroom, and I haven't been able to do anything except give Miss some money for the "ransom" of "my doppelganger."]
Red: No, I swear! I just couldn't remember.
Joker: Red, we're planning here. Why'd you call?
Red: I'm sorry, was I talking to you--?
Me: Well, you *are* on speaker phone...
Joker: You heard my woman. Er...the woman.
Red: I want you guys to meet my broskey.
Joker: Did she just say broskey?
Me: [ignoring Joker]. You mean Graham-cracker?
Red: Yep, that's the one. Only broskey I have.
Me: Red, we're villains. We don't just go meet your houseguests.
Red: You're a British diplomat.
Me: But I don't know Renee. Why would we even have any reason for our paths to cross? Bruce thinks I don't know you. And, besides, I'm on house arrest.
Joker: Sorry, can't make it! I have additional plans.
Red: [darkly] What are your plans?
Joker: Not hanging out with you. Those are the plans.
Red: That's one plan...
Joker: Technicalities. Either way, I'm not going to meet this Graham Crack.
Red: That's my bro you're talking about.
Joker: Did you hear that, Lenore? It's her bro we're making CRACKS about.
Me: You disgust me.
Red: So...you'll meet him?
Me: Why don't you just tell him about us? Make everything simpler.
Red: Oh, yeah, tell him that my two best friends are mass-murdering psychopaths. I'm *sure* that will make everything simpler.
Joker: Sounds like a plan to meEeE! Now, go get CRACKin on that plan. [He grabs my phone and hangs up on Red.]
Me: You think she'll tell him?
Joker: Maye over tele-GRAHAM. OhahahAOHAahaOaha.
Me: Stop that.
Joker: OahiAAIiahhahHaha. Ahee. Aha. Ha.
Red. Chat. The Warehouse. Still no sense of time.
[after hugging me for a long time, finally Red speaks.]
Red: So...you'll call them? [that mischievous glint in her eyes.]
Me: [resigned] Yes. I'll call them. We better clean their rooms before they get here. You know how Edgar is. [very much like Adrian Monk.]
Red: [Laughs.] We'll send the Joker in there.
Me: You should get yourself some minions. I mean, I have minions. So you should get some.
Red: I'll tell Annabelle you described her as a minion. I'm sure she'll appreciate that...
Me: I should go stay with Bruce for a little while. They might get suspicious if they don't see me around.
Red: Understandable. Maybe one day you'll drop this foolish secret identity business and devote yourself to villainry.
Red: Also. You should be careful of Harvey Dent. He intends to try to put a tracker on you in order to find the Joker...don't ask me why.
Me: [laughing.] He and the mayor both. I think it's just a thing with any political figure in Gotham. They just automatically expect them to be able to lead them to important crime members. Maybe they expect me to get kidnapped.
Red: HEY. That's not a bad idea...
Me: Oh no you don't.
Red: Maybe one day. Maybe after I get minions...
Red. The Warehouse. No sense of time.
I awake and I’m back at the Warehouse, laying on my bed. Someone has slipped that damn dress off of me, and it’s hanging up in my open closet. They were kind enough to also put me in one of my silk robes. Since the color of choice was scarlet, I would imagine it was Red’s doing. Beads of sweat cover my body. I had been trapped. Pulling myself up, I slide off the bed toward the...
The Courthouse. Midmorning.
“Sorry I’m late, folks.” The new DA barges into the room then saunters to his seat next to Rachel Dawes- one of Brucey’s old flames. I’m sitting toward the back of the courtroom in the area reserved for diplomats and the like [ah, the perks]. It’s the trial for Salvator Maroni: one of the mob leaders in Gotham. Of course, I know him, having run into him a few...
Hungover. The Warehouse. Don't care what time.
I woke up this morning with the worst hangover I’ve had in years. Do I remember anything about last night? Nope. Can someone please tell me what happened…? I remember I was hanging out with Red and the Joker, but that’s about it.
Lt. Gordon. Gotham City Police Dept. 15:18-15:33.
Some freak keyed my Audi Spyder. I didn’t notice it until I pulled into the parking lot of Gotham City’s Police Department and glanced over my car. Bloody idiot. I’m also reminded that I’ve got to get myself a new chauffeur. Locking the car, I straighten my shoulders and walk into the police department. Currently, the place is a flurry of activity. Still trying to clean...
Chat. Joker, Me&Red. The Warehouse. Before the...
I've gotten all the details carried out for our attack on Gotham Cities Mob Bank. I'm wearing this long, elegant black dress because I hardly every wear any color or anything but dresses when I'm being my diplomatic self. We're running through the plan once more.
Me: [to Joker] The Disposables will pick you up on Charn Avenue, five blocks away from the Bank. I talked to them yesterday. They're under the delusion that you will be sitting out for this one. They're also going to kill each other off, one by one.
Red: I'll be here, in the Control Room. I've wired up every TV in Gotham. Ehehe. I'm looking forward to this one. Don't forget to wear this in your ear. [Hands him a teeny speaker]. You'll have a voice inside your head for a little while, so don't freak out.
Joker: No different than usual.
Me: Miss is taking care of distracting the mob. I'll be headed to the Police Department when I leave here. As long as I'm there, I'll be able to distract Gordon and give you just enough time to get out of there before school gets out. Got it? Anything else I need to go over again?
Red: Nah. If anything goes wrong, he's got my voice in his ear.
Me: That's *so* reassuring...
Joker: And here...we...go.
Call. Miss and Lenore. 24:00.
I'm sitting on my motorcycle getting ready to leave Gotham Gore after rounding up some petty criminals when I think that it would be nice to have some additional help in distracting the mob and I call up Miss.
Miss: Fancy you dropping by, little bird.
Me: [ignoring her comment] How would you like to cause a little chaos?
Miss: Mmmm....chaos.... Tasty.
Me: Tomorrow, right before school lets out, I need you to be distracting the mob. I don't care how you do it, what you do, just keep their annoying little selves away from the Bank of Gotham.
Miss: Your wish is my command...but what's in it for me?
Me: Five-hundred thousand dollars enough to whet your appetite?
Miss: Maybe. I'll tell you after I get the goddamn job done. I'm a Starship Ranger.
Miss: You didn't see anything...CHAIO! [Hangs up].
I'm left there, holding the phone, very confused and a little unnerved by this crazy "Miss." Ah well, at least she's going to help...
Red&theJoker. Kitchen. The Warehouse. 23:19.
We’re sitting here at the kitchen table, looking over blueprints for one of Gotham’s largest banks. It’s a mob bank. He’s finally lost it, I think. But there’s no way I’m missing out on the fun. Red’s typing away at this tiny little keyboard. She’s wearing some sort of contraption over her eyes: glasses which hold a computer screen. She’s...
Jack/Joker. Living Room. The Warehouse. 16:34.
Setting my phone down next to me on the couch, I slide to my stomach, stretching out comfortably. I close my eyes and rest my head in the crook of my elbow, attempting to take a nap. Sleep doesn’t come easy to me. I’ve probably been laying there, drifting in and out of consciousness for about twenty minutes when I tense, noticing another presence in the room. It’s either Red or...
Alfred. Telephone Call. The Warehouse. 16:00.
After the training session, I'm exhausted. I dragged Red off to have her help me with flushing the irritant from my eyes, then I fed our hostage, [mask on face], then I collapsed in the living room when I receive a call from Alfred.
Alfred: Lenore, simply calling to be sure everything is alright.
Me: I am still alive, darling. Thank you for your concern. I may not be back at Brucey's for a while...my friends are allowing me to stay for longer than originally expected, if I would like.
Alfred: I will be sorry not to see your cheerful face every day.
Me: But, it will be nice having the Penthouse for your wild and crazy parties again while Bruce and I aren't there, right?
Alfred: Of course. I do nothing else but party. I am a party animal.
Me: [laughs] I'll call you before I drop by, if you wish.
Alfred: That would be delightful. Please do.
Me: But of course. You have a lovely evening...ALFRED! I am ashamed at you. You called during high tea!
Alfred: Only because I was worried about you. Now we are both allowed to have our teas in peace.
Me: True. Tata, dearest!
Training Room. The Warehouse. 15:38 pm.
BANG. I hit my target head on. BANG BANG BANG. One bullet after the other, straight into the chest of the moving dummy. Then pops up a policeman dummy, and I shoot him without a second thought. Soon, the room is filling with smoke, brought on by Red’s computer programs. Then, a robot built to be exactly like Batman swoops down. It’s a little slower than the bat and a lot louder, but it...
The Joker. The Warehouse. 3:17 am.
“Joker?” I ask, throwing my duffel bag first in my room on my bed. [I’ll describe how it looks later.] Then I head down the hallway to the living room/kitchen area. “You here?” I don’t hear his familiar chuckle, so I’ve just about resigned myself to the fact that he’s not here, when I feel his hand against the small of my back. “I thought, Lenore, we were on a first name basis now?” “Are...
Red and the Joker. The Warehouse. 2:41 am.
Damn. Red has changed the Security System again. I should have known. And DOUBLE DAMN. In all the excitement, I forgot about the hostage in our guest room. I hope someone remembered to feed him…I never was very good at keeping pets. I’m staring at this maze of red laser beams when I think that maybe it would be easier just to call her and ask her to shut down the security, but then I...
Bruce and Alfred. Wayne Penthouse. 2:21am.
Sitting here on my bed in the guest room, I’m staring straight ahead out the colossal window at Gotham’s skyline. The view is not as good as my own at the Crow’s Nest, but it’s not bad. I swallow, my elbows resting on my knees, head cradled in my hands. I just want to get drunk. I need to forget. But I’ll only be able to forget for a little while, then everything...
The Joker. Alisdair's Coffin. Gotham City...
I’m standing there, staring at Alisdair’s coffin, a few tears sliding down my face, when I hear a footfall. I ignore the sound and continue to stare at Alisdair, asking him for forgiveness, telling him all the good times we had together. My hand’s resting on the wood, and I almost expect his hand to cover my own, but I’m painfully reminded that it won’t ever again....
Alfred. Wayne Penthouse. 12:32 am.
It’s been two days since Alisdair’s death. I came back to Bruce’s apartment early. Not too difficult to explain that I came back because of Alisdair, as I was flying my private jet. The first thing that happened when I opened the door was Alfred enveloping me in a giant hug. This was startling. I mean, Alfred and I were friends, but we’d never been touchy feely or anything...
The Joker. Chat. The Warehouse. 2:31am.
After attempting to check on Lenore for about five minutes, banging on her damn door, I give up. I'm sitting in the livingroom, wiping my makeup off, when the Joker comes in.
Me: You could have killed me. [I say this very blandly.]
Joker: You could have killed me. [emphasis on me.]
Me: Look, I'm not sorry about Harley, but I'll apologize anyway. [glaring at him.]
Joker: I won't apologize for killing Alisdair, but I'd love to kiss and make up.
Me: Fuck off.
Joker: Lenore, Lenore, Lenore...
Me: [standing now. pitch, as well as temper, rising.] You can't just kill my friends, Joker. What, are you going to shoot Red too?
Joker: I wouldn't do that. Red's my frie--partner.
Me: You can't just shoot someone you don't like me hanging out with! Did I kill Harley? No. Do I wish I had? Hell, yes! Especially after tonight!
Joker: I can, and I did.
Me: Fine. No mercy. You can go shoot yourself.
Joker: You say that because you love me.
Me: No, I don't. I'm fucking pissed at you. Get out of here.
Joker: No, I think I'll stay.
Me: You fucking bastard. You FUCKING BASTARD! [I come at him now, throwing punches. He just stands there as I pummel away at his chest. Then, sick of that, I knee him in the balls.]
Joker: Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me! [he says in between laughs].
Me: I'm out. Don't expect to see me again anytime soon.
Joker: Lenore, don't be like-
Me: PLEASE. [Then I flip him off and leave.] Fucking bastard. [Murmur.]